Friday, July 22, 2011

Marry Me

J doesn't often travel for work, but when he does, you can be sure that I will not be staying in my house alone with two kids. Fortunately, I have a wonderful mom who is willing to step up and keep me company whenever he's away. I don't know how great she'd be at standing up to an intruder, should we have a break-in in the middle of the night, but, then again, would J be all that great either? So, she's a fine substitute.

In fact, she's more than a fine substitute. In fact, if I'm being honest (which I always am), she's freakin' awesome. During one of her latest stays with us, I had a revelation. How brilliant is polygamy??? Who wouldn't want a sister-wife? J is a great father/husband, but, there really is nothing like another woman to help with the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning, the diapers, the discipline... need I go on? Can you just imagine how smoothly things would run between you and your team of sister-wives? You could shower every day AND shave your legs, the kids would always get off to school on time, you'd have time to cook a real meal every night instead of warming up leftover, congealed mac n' cheese for the third night in a row and even get some time to relax.

And, you'd be off the hook for sex, too. “Hey, honey, I'm not in the mood. Go bother Brenda for a while.” Let's face it, taking care of kids all day long really does a number on the libido. How about some sister-wives to share the load? Your husband would love it, too. It's the ultimate win-win scenario.

Now, who's moving to Utah with me?