I am sick. I have been laid up for three days with a fever which, for most, would be alarming. I tend to spike fevers, so when my temperature reaches 103.8 I get more concerned about having to lift and swipe regularly than any febrile seizures.
But, with a fever that high, getting out of bed proves to be more difficult than birthing twins. Of course, I didn't actually birth mine, but that's another story.
So, I have been lying in bed. Lying! In! Bed! It's truly exhausting.
Outside of my germ infested bedroom I had a pulse on the laundry piling up, and the food shopping not getting done, and the kids running wild, missing their mommy. I had a pulse on all of that, sure, but what really started to bother me after lying so much was my underwear!
That's right. My UNDERWEAR!
You see, I had changed my clothes a lot during these 72 hours. Mostly because my fever was leaving my body by way of sweat bullets the size of kiwis and had me wearing a sweat band on my head to keep the beads from dripping into my eyes. Really! I changed my whole outfit, several times, down to my thong - the type of underwear I tend to wear. But, after all that lying around, my thong was so far up my ass that I needed a colonoscopy to get it removed.
Then I remembered I had granny panties. Granny panties that I wore when I was 20 pounds heavier. Yes, they would be perfect.
So, I took my lethargic self, and dug through my underwear drawer and found my ol' granny panties. And, I couldn't be happier.
Hopefully, I won't need another colonoscopy for ten more years. And, the good news is, I was polyp free.
Do you have a pair of granny panties you save for times of need?